Sunday, December 30, 2007

The new and improved RAG Version 3.0 (©Mr. C.)

Time and again I start to ponder about things like god, the universe and its grandeur, the human mind and soul, heaven and hell, virtue and sin etc. The topic of this post is really abstract to say the least. It tries to explain some basic yet complex things like life, birth and death, free will.

To begin with let me remind you of whats depicted in the movie Matrix, everyone is bound by a software system and a make believe world, the rules of which are designed by the software developer. Lets assume that there is a hypothetical entity called the Creator (lets not call him god over here as this might then create a negative bias in minds of the atheists or the non-believers). Now this creator; lets call him Mr. C.; designed a software something like a random number generator in MS-excel. Instead of random number generator he designed a random action generator (lets call this as RAG Version 3.0), but this generator was always constrained by some rules like gravity, time and space, energy, Newtons 3 laws etc etc…. now a random number generator run some 1000 times will give thousand 1000 different outputs….similarly the human mind was programmed to the random action generator my Mr. C.

So while you were thinking of whether you should go for the vanilla flavor or the chocolate one, and then after much thought you selected chocolate then patted your back for making a smart choice, Mr C. up there is all smiles as he sees your stupidity of taking credit for something in which you do not deserve any. Along with this software, Mr C gave us one very important weapon which we call now as “Reason” something that helps us justify all our actions which in actuality are totally random. The beauty is that Mr C doesn’t want us to know of this reality, that is why he gave us the power of reasoning. For Mr C. the world must look such a fascinating place wont it, to see the myriad things that can come out of different permutations and combinations of the random action generator, right from Adams action of having the forbidden apple to man’s decision of creating the nuclear weapon….its all something that even he dint imagine when he designed the software and now he wonders at the marvels that it’s created. Theres one more twist to the story….he interlinked all the softwares so my decision or choice today would in someway directly or indirectly affect the entire ecological system…just like a butterfly fluttering its wings in some place in africa can bring about a tornado in texas…marvelous isn’t it????

Reason gave the world many new things, many new facets. Fantastic inventions were made, remote places were discovered…. Also man used reason to create some new rules for the software system, like if you kill or hit someone you will be punished, then definition of what is right and what is wrong, whats just and unjust are all in effect man’s attempts at constraining RAG 3.0… since these are man made they can obviously not be uniform everywhere, so the entire issue of subjectivity comes into picture. Also man made rules are not sacrosanct unlike the actual rules Mr C imposed; in the sense that if you hurt a person, it may or may not reflect on your future state of things, whereas if you punch the wall hard enough, newtons 3rd law will ensure that this affects you in the immediate future, in this case you end up with an injured fist.

Along with reason, one more tool that Mr C developed which I am sure he also feels proud about is what we term now as “Memory”…a combination of Memory and reason is what influences any actions that we take….But still there is an inherent randomness in our actions. The degree of randomness varies from person to person and from time to time….for a new born child there is no memory of the past and no reason so his actions are what can be called 100% random….is that the reason why babies are seen as images of god???...Interesting, eh???

So what about death??? I would say death is when Mr C. decides that the particular person’s software platform is not working as well as it should have, and so some debugging needs to be done. Or something else that is even more weird to believe. My point is if there was something called as free will which I as a man can exercise, then I would never exercise the option of death, would I? but truth is whether I want to die or not, I will die one day, just like if I jump from the third floor of my building, I know that down and not up is where I will go…. So death is one more rule in this software system…its like Mr C’s way of telling you “ dude enough of your randomness, now I need to shut down your program”….its God’s way of pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del….

This also reinforces my point that “Free will is just a myth”.

Well maybe what I am saying is crap, but the underlying thought is something which none of us can deny. The underlying thought or the essence of everything I said till now is that the universe is so full of things which are beyond human comprehension, so it makes me believe in the existence of a power which is beyond us…you may call it Lord, god, the One, the creator or by any another name…. he is the master of your life, you are a powerless entity in the scheme of things. Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

Another year, another resolution!!!

Well for starters, let me tell you I have more than 1 resolution for the coming year…in fact there are quite a few….common sense says that I should have 1 resolution and adhere to it, but right now I am in a slightly exalted state of mind, so I would rather be elaborate and give out my entire wish list…err….resolution list I meant..

1. Watch movies that I always wanted to but for some reason missed out…target is minimum a movie every 2 days, at least the next 2 months that I am in XL…the movie sever here will surely be a big help in fulfilling this resolution!

2. Exercise for sometime daily….could be anything like a quick jog or a workout…I know this one figures in the list of 3 most popular new year resolutions so no more elaborations on my rationale for this I suppose

3. Read more…I hardly read…feel the need to be well read….need to get into the habit of reading, its now or never…target is a book every 2 weeks or so.

4. Patao a girl….well if you think I am saying this in a lighter vein then let me clarify that no, this resolution is more serious than the 3 listed above or the ones that I will list below…how to manage this is something I have yet to figure out…

5. Learn some new language…right now hot choices are Bengali, Punjabi and French…

6. Think less, talk more…

7. Blog more…

Well 7 is supposed to be a lucky number, so I would end it here…that’s my list…short and sweet…hehehe…let the countdown to 2008 begin….

Blah Blah...

What an interesting title isn’t it?....well ladies and gentlemen firstly nice to see all of you once again after my long hiatus from blogging (is hiatus the right word, man I gotta look up the dictionary). The long gap is for no reason as such, apart from the fact that I did not find anything worth writing all this while, today I suddenly feel like penning down something. Maybe that’s coz im back to my fave place that’s Bombay, maybe its coz I met one of my favorite ppl today. Well as they say aam khaao gutliyan mat gino, so lets come straight to the point. The point is my life seems like a boat without an anchor right now, and by anchor I do not mean support, I am talking about utter lack of direction in my life. its almost as if im just going with the flow. Am at the brink of completing my mba from a reputed b-school which would guarantee I get a decent, if not great job in another 2 months. But im not too kicked about the entire thing; I mean am more or less indifferent to where I land up. Seems I have become too laid back in life, or maybe too easy going, to the level where anything ceases to matter except maybe mundane things like what’s there for lunch today or is the movie server on campus working or not. Then I think again is this really how I am supposed to be. Is this what I have always been….well not really, I feel….I remember having the drive to do something, to get into a good college, to top in my class, to be thorough with my subjects etc etc….well where is the drive now??? Gone for good is it???....I need to get it back, then again I don’t feel the drive to get the drive back…haha…there u see lies my problem, I am not even serious while writing down this stuff, just some thoughts creating chaos in my cerebral cavity and I am blurting it out on you innocent souls who happened to chance upon my blog (good that you did, scroll down to my mother wala blog if u missed that, its awesome, that’s what ppl told me and I like to believe them). Readers are welcome to suggest me ways to become saner if they can, in the meanwhile I think I will go back to my state of mindless inertia…. And ya I will go back to the sitcom I left midway….

Friday, August 24, 2007

The perfect execution!!

So as approaches a new end term examination, approaches a new wave of enthu in our group. For all of you not knowing the benefits of group studies, let me tell you that it is the best thing to have ever happened….believe me ;-)…

Ok now the name of our group: the always enthu group (enthu about what don’t ask me) ….the names of group members: dilip (yours truly), Diggi, Sushant….we also have some other people in our group, but they have been smart enough to study alone…or rather smart enough to study at all!!!

Below are some comments from different group members at different stages of the term:

Term begins:
Sushant: yeh time toh fodna hai exam…first day se padhenge BCMC &%#$@!!
Diggi: haa saale ikdam….
Me: ok if u say so…. (fully aware of the uselessness of such talk…but don’t want to be a spoilsport)

In the middle of the term:
Me: Yaar its not going as planned, we are slackening too much….
Sushant: Load mat le yaar, abhi toh ek hi mahina hua hai, 2months still to go dude…
Diggi: y the heck are we discussing this topic now, do we have some mid term tomorrow????!!! (confusion largely written on his face)

A few days later: (a day before an important mid term examination)
Sushant (the master planner and strategizer): ok guys we have 15 hours left…lets divide the topics amongst us and then each one of us read his part properly….at the end we will have a knowledge transfer….believe me guys this is the best way to study (determination largely written on his face)
Diggi: haa saale ikdam…
Me: ok whatever u say …. (again fully aware of the uselessness…but then whats wrong in trying)

Sushant: ok ill do chapters 1,2,3..diggi tu 4,5,6 kar aur menda tu last ke teen kar de…
Me: y the fuck do I get to do the last 3 topics and how will I get those without knowing the first 6!!!
Diggi: guys are u sure we are covering the entire syllabus..
Sushant: saaale pehle itna toh kar baad mai dekhenge

2 hours before the mid term:
All of us are found sleeping happily when another dear friend Shashank barges into the room and spoils the sweet slumber…and as expected he freaks out seeing all of us dozing…so here goes the later turn of events:
Shashank: Ch**axi exam is in 2 hours and u guys are happily sleeping…saalo kuch padha bhi hai ki nahi…
Diggi: oh fuck…how did I fall asleep man!!
Me: Shit!!!...since when have we been sleeping…I have hardly studied guys…we are screwed… take it from me (can you ppl sense the fear in my talk)
Sushant:………..(our man sushant is still having sweet dreams…he thinks that sleep is the best possible way of destressing and relaxing before an exam so he would rather still sleep…)

Half an hour before the exam:
The saviour comes….the man himself…SHAMIK BAGCHI!!! (FYI hes the other saviour apart frm Shashank)...anyway this guy Bagchi studies for more time than the 3 of us combined….and just half an hour before the exam you tend to realize the importance of having such a guy as your pal…suddenly the feelings of friendship surface…

Me: Bagchi halat kharab hai, kuch padha de yaar…our fate lies in your hands…
Diggi: please yaar….(with the innocence of a 5-year old kid asking for a chocolate)
Sushant:…….(some1 wake him up for heaven’s sake!!!)
Bagchi: …..(wry smile)…..load mat lo yaar…don’t worry guys…il cover the entire syllabus in an hour…
Me: but dude we have only 30 mins…
Bagchi: thik hai yaar we will at least do half…
Me: good, good at least we wont flunk now…..(relief on all our faces and sleep still on sushant’s face)

After this happens the fastest possible knowledge transfer in the history of mankind…we guys go and give the exam…come back discuss the paper….realise that the syllabus included many things which we weren’t even aware of (surprise, surprise)…bottomline is we survive…to see another day…. to see another midterm…

Parting words from our group leader:
Sushant: we will crack the next exam people….and this time NO ONE WILL SLEEP!!!

Monday, July 30, 2007

The good, the bad and the ugly

At times I cannot help but think about our many different definitions in life: definition of whats right, whats wrong, whats good, whats bad. Its kind of amazing that each one of us has a different set of beliefs and ethics and we cling on to our beliefs like dear life. whenever there is an argument, the one thing that is sure about the outcome is that one side has to be right, the other side has to be wrong. Why is it so. I mean why can there be no rights and wrongs in life. and come to think of it who gave us the right to say whats correct and whats not. Some people do charity, some people donate to the poor. They take lot of pride in this and say that they are helping someone else’s cause. No doubts about that but when you think on a deeper level they are in the end working for a selfish cause, which in this case is their mental satisfaction, happiness of others is just a stepping stone over here to reach your own happiness. The reason why I am writing this post is that in the past few days I have been doing something that I wouldn’t term as very good. But guess what, its making me happy. And I am kind of selfish in believing that if its making me happy it cannot possibly be wrong. Maybe all that I am writing is crap, it might be just another effort to make me feel better about myself. But the bigger question over here is that whether it is justified to make oneself happy at any cost. Do I have to always do the right thing or can I sometimes be wrong, can I sometimes be evil, can I sometimes be malicious. After all these are words that we human beings defined and termed them as bad, god never told us whats good and whats bad. I am actually sick of this life which is full of liars and hypocrites, in fact I think there is no one out there who is not a hypocrite, hypocrisy is man’s second nature is what I feel. We are always trying to betray whats going on in our minds, we are always trying to feel good about ourselves, always trying to prove to the others and to ourselves that we are right, morally and ethically. What scares me is that I am no different!!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Random thoughts

As I write this post, let me give you a brief background of the setting lest you start wondering whats wrong with our man Dilip. Its 12-30 in the night, theres been no power for the past hour, theres total darkness outside as I sit in my balcony and look out. Most of the people would have slept by now, I tell myself while I feel as fresh as ever. Theres just the right amount of breeze running through and without TV or internet, I am as desparate for some entertainment as Virender Sehwag is for some kind of form with the bat. There are some soft numbers playing on my laptop. I say perfect setting for writing a new post, and what better topic to write on than my thoughts! Well to be frank I do understand that no one is interested in reading whats going on in the mind of a 22-something, ever so confused, attention seeking, wanna be MBA. But what the heck, since you have already taken the pains to actually visit my blog, you may as well read the entire thing. This blog may actually make you start liking your life all the more once you have had a look at mine!

I will list the various thoughts that are going on in my mind currently:

Thought 1: Is blogging the right thing for me? (you may chip in with suggestions and comments on my writing and please avoid using any expletives unless you have absolutely exhausted all other modes of expressing your frustration)

Thought 2 : Am I cut out for the corporate world? To give you a brief background, I had a presentation to my project guide last week and it turned out to be a disaster. He gave me all kinds of negative feedback possible like my study lacking depth, the scope of the project being too narrow, the slides being too cluttered, my presentation skills being a complete let down etc etc. Just when I thought the worst was past me, I asked him in a slightly concerned tone “Sir, do you think it was really that bad?” to which he said “It was fuck all” and the f-word was used so non-chalantly that it did shock me. This is what I would like to believe was the worst ever feedback that any summer intern would have got in the history of sumer internship. Though I feel like cribbing about my guide and how he never gave me time or any directions to my project, the main point over here is that my confidence has been dented and restoring it would require some major effort. Anyway I take this as a learning experience so that I do not screw up so badly any of my future work.

Thought 3 : I am so in love with Mumbai! I always tell my friends that I totally love South Bombay mainly due to 2 things : the sea and the buildings. The sea well is the sea and anyone who has seen Marine Drive or for that matter Worli Seaface and not fallen in love with them, my sympathies with him. Theres something about the sea which kind of brings out the best in me. And regarding the buildings, I absolutely adore the style of architecture over here. The buildings, even the simplest one, looks so very grand, well hats off to the British, one thing good that they did for sure was to give such great heritage structures to the city. The reason for this nostalgic feeling is that in another week I would have left this city for another year at beautiful Jamshedpur.

Thought 4 : Is that black little thing hovering outside my window a bat? I am scared, well let me get my specs and have a better look!

Thought 5 : It actually is a bat for heavens sake! And it is about to become an uninvited guest in my house any moment now. I better close the windows and rush inside!

Thought 6 : I am missing XLRI so much. I know I am getting a bit senti over here, but to stay away from a place that has become so much a part of your life is, well, mighty difficult. The past one year at XL seems to have gone past in such a hurry and the worst part is that its just a 2 year course which means just one more year at this beautiful place. As they say “in life nothing is permanent!” and as mature individuals we are supposed to grin and bear it, so that we shall do.

Thought 7 : Its 1-20 am now and the heat is making me sweat profusely. Should I be taking a bath at this odd time. But what the hell, I cant even do that as its pitch dark everywhere, the bathroom included…

Thought 8 : I can smell my own sweat and I so hate it. Now I know why the guy next to me in the packed local train was so irritated as if someone just farted an atom bomb. Man, I do really sweat a lot!

Thought 9 : I so hate my boss, for those of you who came late, please refer to thought 2.

Thought 10 : I hate my company, refer to thought 2 again.

Thought 11 : Am I a marketing person or a finance person. Firstly let me admit that this entire categorization thing does not make much sense to me, but one thing that I have realised is that as an mba u gotta decide if ur a mar guy or fin guy. I have not really made a decision on this. Some people think of me as lacking focus, some others take it as a sign of confusion. I for one would like to say in my defence that I believe in keeping options open and I believe in being more of a generalist. As a manger I would like to be good at every aspect of a business. Frankly all this explanation is crap, the truth is well I am confused! Let me explain my dilemma in more clear words. I believe that marketing is more interesting and I would like a marketing job more as compared to maybe a fin job. Although going by conventional thinking, fin is the field for me what with my intelligent (read nerdy) looks and also my excellent grade in the financial management course. Also marketing is supposed to be for the more street smart, fully outgoing types, which I really don’t think would exactly go with my skill set. So the entire conflict is between what I like more versus what I might possibly be better at. Its almost like I have to choose between cricket and football as my career, I enjoy playing cricket more but I suck at playing cricket and I am excellent at football. In reality I suck at both, but hey that was just an example!

Thought 12 : I can write loads of crap and people actually can read it!

Thought 13 : Did I write the worst ever post in the history of blogging or can it get any better er i meant worse? Luckily the power is back and I am thinking of closing this post for now. (you can thank me later for that) Though 13 is an unlucky number, I would not increase the length of this post by including more thoughts. I would like to believe that if you are reading this blog then not many unluckier things could possibly happen to you. And yeah for the betterment of humanity and more importantly for the well being of the nostrils of people who stay in the same house as me, I think its necessary that I do take a bath right away...

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Kem Chhoo…Majja maa???...

I love traveling. Or so I felt…till I came to Ahmedabad. Not that I have anything against the place, but there is a reason to my feelings. Basically I was supposed to come here to complete my project. Initially I had to go to some far off places but then my company did not find it economical enough to let me fly on their expenses(!!!), so here I was taking a train to a place where I had never been before. My journey began on Monday night as I was boarding the train from Dadar station. My dad accompanied me to the station and in the half an hour I spent at the station I think he asked me at least a 100 times if I had taken my tickets, my ATM card and many other things which I actually should be carrying for a journey. I reminded him 101 times meanwhile that I would be off for less than a week only and that I was going only to Ahmedabad and not some far off country in Africa.

Anyway the wait for the train looked never ending and I heaved a sigh of relief when it did come finally. I don’t know why but I have got this fascination for trains, I remember as a kid whenever I used to cry my dad used to bring me to the railway station to show the train and I would immediately stop crying.
Trivia No 1: VT station was my all time favorite place as the idea that there is no train which can go beyond it seemed to amaze me for some weird reason. It somehow gave it the feel of being the mysterious end of the world.
Trivia No 2: I always wanted to be an engineer as I felt that an engineer was the one who drives a train…ok don’t be so surprised; kids are supposed to be stupid!

So now back to the trip. After some 10 hours of train journey, I did reach my destination. The train journey was made interesting by some three 40-something guys discussing every possible topic under the sun right from the pollution caused by chemical industry to the ideal age for their daughter’s marriage. Though I didn’t participate in their conversation, it was interesting enough to keep me awake for quite some time. When I reached Ahmedabad, I realized 2 things, first that the place was damn damn hot and secondly the people spoke Gujarati most of the time. It was expected but still I did think that some people would converse in Hindi. The fact that the auto walas did understand my Hindi was a consolation!

After checking in my hotel I took a quick bath and a small nap and then left for my office. Then began my real struggle, I wanted to make the most of my stay over there. But unfortunately work was moving at snail’s pace, in fact there was hardly any work happening. Two full days went by without me meeting any client. I tried calling up some industry people to fix up some meetings but was mostly met with a cold response from them, when I tried to pitch our product the standard response was “su cchhe, manne interest nathii” after which the other person would invariably hang up without hearing a word. So the entire thing started to frustrate me a lot and I realized that nothing great seems to be coming out of this trip. A friend told me that since I am already here rather than cribbing I could actually have a gala time, totally enjoy my time over here. This somehow seemed to make sense, so that’s what I did for the next 3 days. So though I wouldn’t say that I had the most awesome time, but things turned out slightly better. I roamed alone in the city, explored many new places, checked out the gujju girls, also tried out some Gujarati delicacies.

The one thing that I realized from my stay in Ahmedabad was that eating out is the national pastime out here. There would be 20 eating joints in a radius of 10 meters and all of them would be doing great business with customers flocking all the time. People really love eating over here, that possibly explained why it was so difficult to find a thin Gujarati. If the film “Roti, Kapda aur Makan” would have been made in Gujarat I am so sure it would have been called “Roti, Thepla aur Chivda”

Also few days back I had been to the XLRI alumni meet in Mumbai. It was great meeting almost half my batch again. It was just like one of those campus wet nights though this time the place and setting was vastly different. The food was great, the desserts were awesome and plus there was a DJ playing really foot tapping numbers. After almost a month of corporate life, dancing with friends and making so much noise with useless talk was a welcome change.

Another good thing to happen to me in past few days is that I did get my stipend which is actually my life’s first salary. Now I have always thought that it would be so great when I start earning, but I don’t know why there is no real happiness or delight I feel when I collect the pay cheque, I am totally confused as to the reason for this response of mine. Lots of things have been going on in mind over past few days, one of them being what I would like to do in the future. And I know everyone thinks of their future but it’s been playing on my mind now more than ever. I hope I do get some clarity on these questions by the completion of my MBA at least. As they say idle mind is devil’s workshop, going by the amount of idle time I have had in the previous month during my summer internship, I am sure the devils have settled down well in my mind and must have possibly developed a liking to it as well!

P.S: Theres this girl in my office whom I find terribly cute. I don’t know what I like about her, I mean she is not one of those awesome beauties, but I find her really irresistible. I have never spoken to her; I don’t even know her name. As she is not in my section, I do not know how to begin a conversation. Now I have got just a week left in my internship, just hope cupid would play some trick in this short span!

Monday, April 30, 2007

Matches made in Hell...

I hate marriages, I hated them as a child and with age it has only increased. Well you need not jump in shock and kill some 1000 innocent germs under your feet at this statement of mine. I can give you 10 good reasons why I cannot stand them. Ok that later first let me narrate the marriage that I attended yesterday. It wasn’t a marriage actually but one of the 101 pre-marriage functions that take place in a typical Sindhi family marriage. This particular function was the mehendi and lada, for those who are not aware of the second term it stands for LAdies DAnce function (well what in heavens name happened to gender equality I mean why are the guys not supposed to dance). Anyway as I reached the hall I realized I was the only person around, no there were others actually but they were leaving from the previous function. The fact is that we sindhis have a habit of starting our functions late and the later into the night the function goes the better it is supposed to be…anyways coming back to the function, I was alone and bored. To make things worse the food hadn’t started yet. Luckily I found a juice counter at the corner of the hall and from then till the end I gulped so many glasses of juice that the juicewala bhaiya seemed to have become sick of my face and I was actually getting worried that he was mixing something in my juice so that I never come back, but unluckily he did not get respite. After sometime some starters were being served, I guess the caterers took sympathy to my innocent always hungry looking face. So I helped myself to some pakodas, but the cameraman kept focusing his camera on me time and again as if I was some Osama bin laden in Abhishek-Aishwarya wedding. Well not his mistake considering I was the only guest around and he needed to do some preparation before shooting the actual bride and groom, but a camera on top of you is a very discomforting feeling especially when you are eating or may I say hogging big time. So there I was alone again and this time not even eating anything…

Well you would think that as the guests started coming in I would feel better, but that was far from true. As more and more people entered the hall, I started wondering if I had come to the right function as it was hard to recognize most of them. This could be attributed to 2 reasons: one that I do not attend too many family functions and two I have a pathetic memory especially when it comes to names and faces. So I had to face many situations where fat uncles and fatter aunties came up to me and asked in very apnapan type voice “pehchana kya??” for those who have been in this situation before I need not explain how tricky it can be, anyway what my 1 year of MBA has taught me I suppose is to bluff easily and this came in handy even during such times as I confidently would reply “haa aunty aapko kaise bhool sakte hain” the trick is to say it with 100% conviction and eye contact and run away from the scene immediately to avoid any further cross-questioning. One good thing about marriages is the pretty girls around and especially Sindhi females are known to be beautiful (well I was considering use of some not too decent word in this context but then my blog being a karan johar movie type family blog I would keep away from such things, promise!!). but then again the problem is most of the girls I don’t even know. For those of you who know me well would know for a fact that I am such a shy and innocent boy (ikdam meri mummy mere saath rahegi types) that I would rather sit alone and watch a documentary on Doordarshan rather than start conversation with a girl I do not know. So we are back to square one, I can only look at the girls and with my family around I better not stare continuously, come on yaar I have a reputation to keep up.

Well what follows is the part that I can not stand at all. This is when the music starts and people start dancing. Dancing comes as naturally to me as English comes to our Laloo Prasad Yadavjeee. But the thing is my cousins love me a lot so they cannot se me standing in a corner of the room twiddling my thumbs, so I am forced into the Akhada time and again to show my skills. Now what follows is some display of motion so complex and so visually unexciting that would make Sunny Deol think of himself as Miachael Jackson. For those of you who haven’t seen Sunny Deol dance, just try the following step and you know what he does: lift your left foot bring it to the side and stamp it on the floor so forcibly as if you were killing some deadly lizard, now repeat the same with your right leg and now about the hands …well who cares about the hands when the legs are doing so much already. The most important thing is your facial expressions which should be a cross between extreme anger and extreme constipation…that’s the Sunny Deol dance perfected!! Anyways coming back to yesterdays function, I was being shy at the beginning, but then a couple of beers later the feet started moving by themselves, not to mention the after effects of my little jig were 2 ladies getting badly punched in the mouth and a few others suffering from indigestion and sleeplessness after seeing my awkward movements.

After dancing for sometime, I started feeling hungry again. The food was so oily that I struggled to find the paneer pieces in the plethora of oil. Well I am not one of those calorie conscious persons who would freak out on seeing the smallest amount of oil. But this was getting a bit too much, plus the food was hardly anything but delicious (I hope my cousin whose marriage it was is not reading this and if she is then let me also add that the ice-cream was really awesome sachhhiiii). Then my uncle sent me to get a cake which he had already ordered for the function. It was one of those huge cakes which had 3 layers hence required me to carry 3 huge boxes. The difficulty I had in handling those huge boxes on the way back reminded me of Saurav Ganguly facing Shoaib Akhtar on the pacy Perth pitch. Lucky bastard Saurav at least he had pads and a helmet. The only good thing was that the girl at the cake shop was kinda cute and she smiled at me and before u say anything, no I was not wearing torn pants neither did I have anything funny written on my face to make her smile. It was a genuine smile, ikdam dil se!!! so then I came back and we cut the cake and after a lot of pushing others and abusing I managed to get really close to the cake which ensured that for a change I am not left only clapping while the ones at the front end up eating the cake. I am one of those who believe in having my cake and eating it too (this is the silliest phrase ever, if you have a cake why the hell would you not eat it) Anyway by now my torture had ended and we were finally headed home. Home sweet home yay!!! But jyada khush nahi honeka because this was just a pre-marriage function the real event is yet to follow, I cannot help but feel that if I enjoyed the net practice so much, the match would be nothing less than spectacular.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

My mommy greatest!!!

So you must have guessed from the title what this post is gonna be about. Normally I am not one of those people who will write some deeply philosophical stuff or stuff that will make you think. But sometimes life throws up situations which make you think, which make you introspect, which make you see the bigger picture.

I was just having a discussion with my friend as to how do I go about spending my first salary. She told me to buy gifts for my family and I thought it was a brilliant idea. Then I decided mentally what gift I should possibly give my dad, my bhaiya and bhabhi. But when it came to my mother I was clueless. So my friend told me “think what does she like?”. Now this question hit me real hard as I had no clue about what she liked. I mean come on here is a person who is possibly the most important in my life, whom I claim to love the most. But I don’t know what she would like for a gift. Whoaaaa that was a shocker. I don’t know anything about her is what I felt as I pondered over this more. What could possibly be the reason for that? As I tried to think more I realized how over the years the relation that I shared with my mom was always centred around me. It was always my problems, my successes, my failures, my dreams, my happiness, what I liked, what I disliked, everything was about me. And im not saying that she did that to make me happy, that’s what made her happy as well….her happiness, in fact her existence somehow always had to do something with her kids. I cannot remember if she was ever asked or whether she made any choices be it about which restaurant to go, which movie to see etc etc. these might seem to be small things but the point I am trying to make is how her life was almost always driven by what her sons felt, thought and decided. So we never managed to know her as a person. Come to think of it before she gave birth, she was a normal person with her own life, but ever since we buggers (me and my brother) came into this world its as if mother is the only role she has been performing. I almost feel like singing the following line “Will the real person who is my mom please stand up, please stand up” ok don’t blame me if u thought the song was a bad idea, but seriously that’s the state of my mind right now. I want to know my mom, I want to spend one full day with her where there is no talk about me or my brother or my father, where she is the only topic of discussion. I want to know what is it that makes her happy, whats her favourite dish, whats her fave movie, which places does she like visiting, what are her dreams, how was she as a kid: was she naughty, did she study as much as she makes us do, did she clean her room as regularly as she does ours. I want to know something in fact lots of things about Kiran Menda the person as a whole and not just my mom. I want to know about her life beyond her 2 sons and beyond her family.

Do u guys think I will be successful in this quest of mine? More importantly will I be as good a son as good a mother she has been? Nah, I think that’s too much to ask. Its said that a mother’s love is the purest thing in the world. no matter how much I love my mom it will always have a bit of my ego, my happiness quotient; whereas her love will always be selfless. In love you desire only the happiness of the loved one and nothing else, going by this definition, mother’s love surely puts any modern day romeo-juliet to shame. Love now for us has become so much selfish, its never about the other person its always about us. I know that selfless love is a very difficult thing to practice, but that’s the only way our moms know love to be, that’s how it comes naturally to them, isn’t that great!!

Around a couple of years back my mom had this really nasty accident which had her bed-ridden for close to 6 months. I remember how it completely shattered me to see her in that state and how helpless I felt in not being able to do anything for her. It also made me realize how dependent I was on her for the smallest of things. Its almost as if she was taken for granted. I felt really close to her then. But then again as I see myself over the past few years I realize how my career, my dreams have somehow put her into the background. I don’t remember when I last prayed for someone other than me. But today as I close my eyes, I really have this strong urge to pray for my mom, to pray for her happiness, and most importantly to pray that I never drift away from her and that I conquer this world for her, I know this may sound filmy but right now this is what I really feel like doing. Also I pray to god that this feeling never dies within me because I know how easy it is to lose sight of this vision as I go back to living my everyday, practical life. Also a small request to everyone who is reading this blog, please go back and thank your mom for everything she has done for you, and as you go pursuing your goals and making your life, do not forget that she is always there with you, feeling happy at each small victory of yours, feeling proud at every small achievement of yours. Go make her happy, show how much she means to you, she really deserves every bit of that and a lot more. And as I write this post its 4-45 am, my mom just woke up and she sees me typing something on the computer. She is really mad at me for being up so late and as expected I get a mini-lecture on sleeping early and waking up early. But somehow her angry words seem so much sweet now, I cannot help smiling and almost shouting out “My mommy greatest!!!”

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The mystery of the unknown B-school

There are times in life when u feel bad, there are times when u feel worse and then there are times when you feel like killing the next person you see on the street. The third situation is one in which I find myself often, especially when I have to explain to random people that I am doing my MBA from a college the name of which is XLRI. Well most of the corporates and the MBA aspirants know of the fact that it is one of the top 5 b-schools in India. But its not these people I am talking about here, it’s the aam junta which is the bone of contention (well theres no bone literally its just a phrase if u are still wondering). These are the people whom I meet on a regular basis, like the neighbourhood aunty whose only source of entertainment is kittie parties and the enigmatic K-serials (no offence to such people I love ekta kapoor and ive always had a secret desire of visiting one of these kitty parties, just that I don’t look like a woman from anywhich way). So to say I was shocked when Kokila aunty who stays on the 11th floor burst into peals of sarcastic laughter when she heard of Jamshedpur would be an understatement, what she also managed in the process is to psyche out my mom completely.

Jab mummy ko doubts aane lage mere xlri jaane pe toh papa kaha se peeche reh sakte thee. So there was this friend of my dad who was kind enough to give my dad the expert opinion that maybe your son is not good enough to do an mba from Mumbai that’s why hes going to Jamshedpur university, and I was like “Hello im not going to any Jamshedpur university I am going to xlri”…. But dad was skeptical for days, convincing him was like bhains ke saamne been bajana, he finally relented…though I still doubt how highly my dad thinks of my mba.

The last category of people are the ones who think that I am working in some tata company in Jamshedpur (I know its ridiculous but in a country where ganpati idols “drink milk” and people watch it on national tv with folded hands anything is possible). These are the people whom I have stopped explaining out of frustration, but the comedy doesn’t end here, when I came back for my summer internship with some phoren bank for only 2 months they were shocked to say the least, giving me looks like “what the hell are you doing finally and kid its time you took control of your life rather than constantly shifting here and there!!!”.

So in a land that is obsessed with the IITs and the IIMs if you are doing MBA from xlri or from some tilak maharaj school of business I guess you will be given the same sympathetic reactions from people around, the sympathy only increases if u r fortunate enough to go to some fancy place like Jamshedpur. So now whenever someone is kind enough to ask me about my college, my strategy is to blurt out the letters X L R I within a second and walk past him, if he knows about the college I suppose he will call me back, if he doesn’t then I don’t give a damn. To be frank I do give more than a damn but don’t wanna put in so much effort in explaining him, though I might rethink if the person is a girl and one who needs to know that after 2 years i would have money enough to take a brand new car and my own apartment in south Bombay, that might make a walking talking disaster like me somewhat attractive to the her wont it???

While ending this post I would like to thank all my admirers who sent in their notes of appreciation after reading my first post, just a small request if you could reduce on the amount of expletives (u know my mom sometimes read my mails and I don’t want her to know how much her son is loved by the people). Otherwise you guys rock and those guys who asked me what was my 1 good thing for the day as I had mentioned in the last post, well I finally cut my toe nails, which by now had become weapons of mass destruction looking at their size, so you see I am doing my bit for the cause of humanity!!!

Monday, April 16, 2007

My first post...About nothing

Umm… words are difficult to come by…..have been wanting to start my own blog since long. To begin with I have this intense hatred for Microsoft word (thats where i am typing right now). The green and red underlines below every word can get irritating after a time especially for people like me who like it clean (stop thinking dirty you perverts I meant clean looking text window). So right now as I proceed there are already more than 10 corrections that it has suggested right from saying that blog is a spelling mistake and then some stupid grammar which I don’t really care a damn about, come on yaar I am not writing my standard 5 english paper.

Ok now I cannot really think of some good topic for the first post, so lets discuss a burning issue : measures to curb the green house effect and melting of polar ice caps. Any ideas gentlemen and ladies…if u cant think of anything shame on you, at least think of how I can fix my water geyser which for some reason never heats the water when switched on, but sometimes does it randomly, I always felt that electronic gadgets have a mind of their own, but this is amazing and frustrating to say the least. So if anyone of you unlucky souls have hit upon my blog and to top it up are still reading it, you must be wondering about the peculiar name of my blog (and I am wondering who the hell are these people!!!) Anyway the reason behind the name of the blog (about nothingg) is 2-fold. Firstly it’s the punchline of my fave sitcom Seinfeld, which I think is the greatest ever creation on TV. Secondly the title is what the blogs topics will be mostly about: about nothing!!! And before you think the extra ‘g’ is an indication of my fascination with numerology (for the ignorant its what ekta kapoor uses in all her serial names) then ill clarify its just because the original title was already taken by someone and I am not that creative enough to think of another title…

As I end the blog, (I cant write more than this so am really starting to doubt if blogging is the right thing for me) I request all you guys to do 1 good thing daily. This could be as simple as giving a lift to some needful person, or helping your mom with the house work. And if you thinking of abusing me for spoiling your day by writing such a crappy blog, you can do that as well. That would suffice as your good cause for the day….lol