Ek chhoti si love story

Disclaimer: the narration below is pure work of fiction and does not bear any resemblance to any person living or dead

Boy is taking girl out on a dinner date….nice fancy restaurant…good food, romantic ambience….things are going pretty well when the boy thinks of proposing…here is how it goes…

Boy: (hesitatingly)I have a confession to make…

Girl: (blank expression, looking in some other direction and not at the boy)hmmm

Boy(wondering why she is not looking at him): I love you like crazy…I feel I wanna spend the rest of my life with you…wanted to know whats in your mind….do u think we should go ahead with the relationship…

40 second silence, boy is sweating, girl is still seeming as blank and expressionless as ever…

Girl (eyes at the ceiling): Yes, I think its right…

Boy (ecstatic, wondering that it was far easier than expected, also wondering why she is still not looking at him directly…maybe she is too shy to maintain eye contact) Well that’s great then!

Boy: so u like children right, how many kids do u think we should have, I know its too early to even talk about it, but just was curious to know whats your take…how many kids sweetie…

Girl: how does 8 sound to you..

Boy (shocked out of his mind): 8 thoda jyada nahi ho jaaenge…but whatever (thinking abhi toh haa ki hai baad mai dekhenge yeh sab intricacies)

Boy: so what are your views about the institution of marriage?

Girl: I do not believe in such shit!

Boy (thinking ki shaadi ke bina hi 8 bacche…yeh ladki thik toh hai na…par mana lenge baadmai): yes dear I totally agree with you on this (saala kisko ullu bana raha hai)

Boy: so how do u find me otherwise?

Girl (silent for quite some time and now looking at the table and murmuring something)

Boy: im sorry what did u say

Girl (still looking at the table and totally silent)

Boy: hello wheres your mind….speak to me

Girl (gently slides her hair behind her ears, removes the earphones out of her ears, disconnects the phone): sorry dear was on a call…this guy no…my office colleague…he has been bugging me for quite some time…now he asked me out for dinner tomorrow…I asked if 8 is fine with him…he then says tht he will treat as the guy should pay on a date…I toh baba told him that I do not believe in such shit at all…bohot paka raha tha yaar phone pe…anyways im sorry totally forgot that I had come with you…so you were saying something…

Boy: let’s order desert!

Nokia-DISconnecting people

Quote of the day

The only reason why chocolate icecream is better than chocolate is that it lasts longer.
- Menduz

The new and improved RAG Version 3.0 (©Mr. C.)

Time and again I start to ponder about things like god, the universe and its grandeur, the human mind and soul, heaven and hell, virtue and sin etc. The topic of this post is really abstract to say the least. It tries to explain some basic yet complex things like life, birth and death, free will.

To begin with let me remind you of whats depicted in the movie Matrix, everyone is bound by a software system and a make believe world, the rules of which are designed by the software developer. Lets assume that there is a hypothetical entity called the Creator (lets not call him god over here as this might then create a negative bias in minds of the atheists or the non-believers). Now this creator; lets call him Mr. C.; designed a software something like a random number generator in MS-excel. Instead of random number generator he designed a random action generator (lets call this as RAG Version 3.0), but this generator was always constrained by some rules like gravity, time and space, energy, Newtons 3 laws etc etc…. now a random number generator run some 1000 times will give thousand 1000 different outputs….similarly the human mind was programmed to the random action generator my Mr. C.

So while you were thinking of whether you should go for the vanilla flavor or the chocolate one, and then after much thought you selected chocolate then patted your back for making a smart choice, Mr C. up there is all smiles as he sees your stupidity of taking credit for something in which you do not deserve any. Along with this software, Mr C gave us one very important weapon which we call now as “Reason” something that helps us justify all our actions which in actuality are totally random. The beauty is that Mr C doesn’t want us to know of this reality, that is why he gave us the power of reasoning. For Mr C. the world must look such a fascinating place wont it, to see the myriad things that can come out of different permutations and combinations of the random action generator, right from Adams action of having the forbidden apple to man’s decision of creating the nuclear weapon….its all something that even he dint imagine when he designed the software and now he wonders at the marvels that it’s created. Theres one more twist to the story….he interlinked all the softwares so my decision or choice today would in someway directly or indirectly affect the entire ecological system…just like a butterfly fluttering its wings in some place in africa can bring about a tornado in texas…marvelous isn’t it????

Reason gave the world many new things, many new facets. Fantastic inventions were made, remote places were discovered…. Also man used reason to create some new rules for the software system, like if you kill or hit someone you will be punished, then definition of what is right and what is wrong, whats just and unjust are all in effect man’s attempts at constraining RAG 3.0… since these are man made they can obviously not be uniform everywhere, so the entire issue of subjectivity comes into picture. Also man made rules are not sacrosanct unlike the actual rules Mr C imposed; in the sense that if you hurt a person, it may or may not reflect on your future state of things, whereas if you punch the wall hard enough, newtons 3^rd law will ensure that this affects you in the immediate future, in this case you end up with an injured fist.

Along with reason, one more tool that Mr C developed which I am sure he also feels proud about is what we term now as “Memory”…a combination of Memory and reason is what influences any actions that we take….But still there is an inherent randomness in our actions. The degree of randomness varies from person to person and from time to time….for a new born child there is no memory of the past and no reason so his actions are what can be called 100% random….is that the reason why babies are seen as images of god???...Interesting, eh???

So what about death??? I would say death is when Mr C. decides that the particular person’s software platform is not working as well as it should have, and so some debugging needs to be done. Or something else that is even more weird to believe. My point is if there was something called as free will which I as a man can exercise, then I would never exercise the option of death, would I? but truth is whether I want to die or not, I will die one day, just like if I jump from the third floor of my building, I know that down and not up is where I will go…. So death is one more rule in this software system…its like Mr C’s way of telling you “ dude enough of your randomness, now I need to shut down your program”….its God’s way of pressing Ctrl+Alt+Del….

This also reinforces my point that “Free will is just a myth”.

Well maybe what I am saying is crap, but the underlying thought is something which none of us can deny. The underlying thought or the essence of everything I said till now is that the universe is so full of things which are beyond human comprehension, so it makes me believe in the existence of a power which is beyond us…you may call it Lord, god, the One, the creator or by any another name…. he is the master of your life, you are a powerless entity in the scheme of things. Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

Another year, another resolution!!!

Well for starters, let me tell you I have more than 1 resolution for the coming year…in fact there are quite a few….common sense says that I should have 1 resolution and adhere to it, but right now I am in a slightly exalted state of mind, so I would rather be elaborate and give out my entire wish list…err….resolution list I meant..

1. Watch movies that I always wanted to but for some reason missed out…target is minimum a movie every 2 days, at least the next 2 months that I am in XL…the movie sever here will surely be a big help in fulfilling this resolution!

2. Exercise for sometime daily….could be anything like a quick jog or a workout…I know this one figures in the list of 3 most popular new year resolutions so no more elaborations on my rationale for this I suppose

3. Read more…I hardly read…feel the need to be well read….need to get into the habit of reading, its now or never…target is a book every 2 weeks or so.

4. Patao a girl….well if you think I am saying this in a lighter vein then let me clarify that no, this resolution is more serious than the 3 listed above or the ones that I will list below…how to manage this is something I have yet to figure out…

5. Learn some new language…right now hot choices are Bengali, Punjabi and French…

6. Think less, talk more…

7. Blog more…

Well 7 is supposed to be a lucky number, so I would end it here…that’s my list…short and sweet…hehehe…let the countdown to 2008 begin….

Blah Blah...

What an interesting title isn’t it?....well ladies and gentlemen firstly nice to see all of you once again after my long hiatus from blogging (is hiatus the right word, man I gotta look up the dictionary). The long gap is for no reason as such, apart from the fact that I did not find anything worth writing all this while, today I suddenly feel like penning down something. Maybe that’s coz im back to my fave place that’s Bombay, maybe its coz I met one of my favorite ppl today. Well as they say aam khaao gutliyan mat gino, so lets come straight to the point. The point is my life seems like a boat without an anchor right now, and by anchor I do not mean support, I am talking about utter lack of direction in my life. its almost as if im just going with the flow. Am at the brink of completing my mba from a reputed b-school which would guarantee I get a decent, if not great job in another 2 months. But im not too kicked about the entire thing; I mean am more or less indifferent to where I land up. Seems I have become too laid back in life, or maybe too easy going, to the level where anything ceases to matter except maybe mundane things like what’s there for lunch today or is the movie server on campus working or not. Then I think again is this really how I am supposed to be. Is this what I have always been….well not really, I feel….I remember having the drive to do something, to get into a good college, to top in my class, to be thorough with my subjects etc etc….well where is the drive now??? Gone for good is it???....I need to get it back, then again I don’t feel the drive to get the drive back…haha…there u see lies my problem, I am not even serious while writing down this stuff, just some thoughts creating chaos in my cerebral cavity and I am blurting it out on you innocent souls who happened to chance upon my blog (good that you did, scroll down to my mother wala blog if u missed that, its awesome, that’s what ppl told me and I like to believe them). Readers are welcome to suggest me ways to become saner if they can, in the meanwhile I think I will go back to my state of mindless inertia…. And ya I will go back to the sitcom I left midway….

The perfect execution!!

So as approaches a new end term examination, approaches a new wave of enthu in our group. For all of you not knowing the benefits of group studies, let me tell you that it is the best thing to have ever happened….believe me ;-)…

Ok now the name of our group: the always enthu group (enthu about what don’t ask me) ….the names of group members: dilip (yours truly), Diggi, Sushant….we also have some other people in our group, but they have been smart enough to study alone…or rather smart enough to study at all!!!

Below are some comments from different group members at different stages of the term:

Term begins:
Sushant: yeh time toh fodna hai exam…first day se padhenge BCMC &%#$@!!
Diggi: haa saale ikdam….
Me: ok if u say so…. (fully aware of the uselessness of such talk…but don’t want to be a spoilsport)

In the middle of the term:
Me: Yaar its not going as planned, we are slackening too much….
Sushant: Load mat le yaar, abhi toh ek hi mahina hua hai, 2months still to go dude…
Diggi: y the heck are we discussing this topic now, do we have some mid term tomorrow????!!! (confusion largely written on his face)

A few days later: (a day before an important mid term examination)
Sushant (the master planner and strategizer): ok guys we have 15 hours left…lets divide the topics amongst us and then each one of us read his part properly….at the end we will have a knowledge transfer….believe me guys this is the best way to study (determination largely written on his face)
Diggi: haa saale ikdam…
Me: ok whatever u say …. (again fully aware of the uselessness…but then whats wrong in trying)

Sushant: ok ill do chapters 1,2,3..diggi tu 4,5,6 kar aur menda tu last ke teen kar de…
Me: y the fuck do I get to do the last 3 topics and how will I get those without knowing the first 6!!!
Diggi: guys are u sure we are covering the entire syllabus..
Sushant: saaale pehle itna toh kar baad mai dekhenge

2 hours before the mid term:
All of us are found sleeping happily when another dear friend Shashank barges into the room and spoils the sweet slumber…and as expected he freaks out seeing all of us dozing…so here goes the later turn of events:
Shashank: Ch**axi exam is in 2 hours and u guys are happily sleeping…saalo kuch padha bhi hai ki nahi…
Diggi: oh fuck…how did I fall asleep man!!
Me: Shit!!!...since when have we been sleeping…I have hardly studied guys…we are screwed… take it from me (can you ppl sense the fear in my talk)
Sushant:………..(our man sushant is still having sweet dreams…he thinks that sleep is the best possible way of destressing and relaxing before an exam so he would rather still sleep…)

Half an hour before the exam:
The saviour comes….the man himself…SHAMIK BAGCHI!!! (FYI hes the other saviour apart frm Shashank)...anyway this guy Bagchi studies for more time than the 3 of us combined….and just half an hour before the exam you tend to realize the importance of having such a guy as your pal…suddenly the feelings of friendship surface…

Me: Bagchi halat kharab hai, kuch padha de yaar…our fate lies in your hands…
Diggi: please yaar….(with the innocence of a 5-year old kid asking for a chocolate)
Sushant:…….(some1 wake him up for heaven’s sake!!!)
Bagchi: …..(wry smile)…..load mat lo yaar…don’t worry guys…il cover the entire syllabus in an hour…
Me: but dude we have only 30 mins…
Bagchi: thik hai yaar we will at least do half…
Me: good, good at least we wont flunk now…..(relief on all our faces and sleep still on sushant’s face)

After this happens the fastest possible knowledge transfer in the history of mankind…we guys go and give the exam…come back discuss the paper….realise that the syllabus included many things which we weren’t even aware of (surprise, surprise)…bottomline is we survive…to see another day…. to see another midterm…

Parting words from our group leader:
Sushant: we will crack the next exam people….and this time NO ONE WILL SLEEP!!!

The good, the bad and the ugly

At times I cannot help but think about our many different definitions in life: definition of whats right, whats wrong, whats good, whats bad. Its kind of amazing that each one of us has a different set of beliefs and ethics and we cling on to our beliefs like dear life. whenever there is an argument, the one thing that is sure about the outcome is that one side has to be right, the other side has to be wrong. Why is it so. I mean why can there be no rights and wrongs in life. and come to think of it who gave us the right to say whats correct and whats not. Some people do charity, some people donate to the poor. They take lot of pride in this and say that they are helping someone else’s cause. No doubts about that but when you think on a deeper level they are in the end working for a selfish cause, which in this case is their mental satisfaction, happiness of others is just a stepping stone over here to reach your own happiness. The reason why I am writing this post is that in the past few days I have been doing something that I wouldn’t term as very good. But guess what, its making me happy. And I am kind of selfish in believing that if its making me happy it cannot possibly be wrong. Maybe all that I am writing is crap, it might be just another effort to make me feel better about myself. But the bigger question over here is that whether it is justified to make oneself happy at any cost. Do I have to always do the right thing or can I sometimes be wrong, can I sometimes be evil, can I sometimes be malicious. After all these are words that we human beings defined and termed them as bad, god never told us whats good and whats bad. I am actually sick of this life which is full of liars and hypocrites, in fact I think there is no one out there who is not a hypocrite, hypocrisy is man’s second nature is what I feel. We are always trying to betray whats going on in our minds, we are always trying to feel good about ourselves, always trying to prove to the others and to ourselves that we are right, morally and ethically. What scares me is that I am no different!!